How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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