the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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