dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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