my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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