Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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