I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
