I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
