its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
