You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
NoShamevember. You game?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
