Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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