Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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