to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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