I saw his package. It spoke to me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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