You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
