Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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