Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
