I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
