Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
