I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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