do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
