If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
