I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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