"it" just moved
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
