i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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