Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
