Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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