bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
