Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
