i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
