You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
last night I used snow as a chaser
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