nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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