You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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