I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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