Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
