ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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