You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
