i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize