For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
