Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
