Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
