I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
