She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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