I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
