What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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