My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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