No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
