my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
