I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this beer tastes like vomit already
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
