I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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