i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
