check it out our google latitudes are spooning
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
