Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just found puke in my bra..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
